Dodgy
by Bill Hagridsson
Summary: Harry has a few...erm...concerns about Cupid. Rated for language.


**Dodgy**

**Disclaimer:** If you're at this site, do you really expect to see original works by established authors posted here? Me either. Meh.

**A/N:** I was bitten in the ankle last night, yet again, by a veritable pack of Plot Ferrets. Dodgy little blighters, they are. I knew there was no way I was going to get away from them, without writing this out. It's a one-shot, and was actually fun to write. It all started with the first line of dialogue in the story. Just one of those things where a line comes from nowhere, and the story builds up around it. A bit bizarre, really. For those who've gotten a bit antsy about it, yes LCaS will be updated soon. I have the next chapter about a quarter of the way written, and more ideas are finally coming for it. Just a matter of getting them onto the screen.

Now, on with the story...

* * *

Harry Potter watched as a certain flame-tressed young witch left the Gryffindor common room, for her date with Colin Creevey. Once the portrait had sealed behind her, he let out a groan of frustration. 

"Cupid's a dodgy little bastard, he is!"

Ron looked up from his latest death prediction for Professor Trelawney (Attack by a thousand enraged exploding budgrigars), confusion evident on his face.

"How d'you reckon that, mate?"

"Well, it's obvious, really. Look, the barmy little blighter never ages. He flits around wearing nothing but a nappy, shooting his blasted arrows all over the place, not caring in the least what damage he does." He tossed his hands up in agitation. "I ask you, is that a proper sort of job to have? I think not!"

Ron shook his head at his best friend, a bemused look on his face. "Right then. No more butterbeer for you."

The raven-haired young wizard scowled at his friend. "Sod off."

"Language, Harry. _Honestly_."

This last came from Hermione, currently sitting very close indeed to her boyfriend. She was smirking a bit at Harry, having seen the way he'd watched Ginny as she left, not to mention all of the previous summer. After the final confrontation with Voldemort the previous June, he'd spent the entire summer at the Burrow, with her and the Weasley family. Over the months leading up to the Trio's seventh year at Hogwarts, she had seen him slowly come to a realization of his feelings for the youngest member of that clan. It was obvious, to Hermione at least, that he'd fallen for Ginny, and fallen hard.

Harry saw the look she was giving him, and attempted to head her off. "Leave off, Mione. Please, just don't start."

Giving her best _'Who me?'_ expression, she said, "I have no idea what you're on about, Harry. I just wondered what you meant by damage."

"Alright, then. How about Seamus and Pansy Parkinson? You wanna talk about damage? That's damage to all of our psyches, especially as he has this habit of describing everything in _entirely_ too much detail." All three shuddered at the recollection of what had been described to the common room the night before.

"How about Luna and Neville? Don't get me wrong. She's very nice, very sweet, and pretty, in a strange sort of way. But, have you ever seen the look on his face after spending a day with her? He's scared bloodless, not knowing what she'll say, when she'll say it, or who she'll say it to. With as many times as she's almost got his arse kicked, he might as well wear it round the front."

All three cringed a bit, remembering that scene the week before, between Luna, Neville, and Michael Corner. Things might've gotten seriously out of hand, if not for the timely arrival of Professor McGonagall.

The bushy-haired Head Girl let the topic drop for now. With all the teasing he'd given her and Ron, once they'd finally admitted their feelings for each other, she wasn't above sending a little payback his way. Besides, it was gratifying to see him worrying about something a bit more mundane these days, rather than the fate of the world.

She also knew how much Ginny still wanted to have Harry see her in this light, no matter how much she tried to deny it. Hermione had tried to tell her what she'd observed in Harry lately, but the younger girl wouldn't believe her. She told Hermione there was no way he'd ever feel that way about her, and the older girl was despairing of finding a way to prove it to her. The trick would be to get at least one of them to confess how they felt, within hearing of the other.

_Merlin_, but they could be stubborn!

Ginevra Weasley was frustrated beyond reason. Her date with Colin Creevey had been an unmitigated disaster. All he'd wanted to talk about for the last two hours had been Harry. Harry this, Harry that, it was enough to drive a girl straight round the bend, it really was. She'd always wondered about that boy, but she was now convinced. He was a poofter, grade A, one hundred percent queer for The Boy Who Lived. Scarily enough, he had noticed things about Harry that even Ginny hadn't noticed, and that was saying something. It explained a lot, really. The foremost of which was why he looked so natural in that pink jumper she'd loaned him so long ago.

It was bad enough that she still had her own sad obsession with Harry Bloody Potter. This wasn't helped by the improvements he'd made over the past two years. The growth spurt, shooting him almost to Ron's height. How his hair had grown to past his shoulders, usually held back now in a ponytail (this just made her want to run her fingers through it, even more than before). Then there was the fact that he no longer needed his glasses, thanks to some sort of muggle medical thing he'd had done, shortly after the final battle. This left his emerald eyes open to the world, and she'd had to be careful not to let herself drown in them, too many times. They'd gotten to know each other even better over the past couple of summers, becoming very good friends. She could now say that she knew him better than anybody else, save Ron and Hermione.

Last, but certainly not least, was the fact that, with all of the training he'd undergone over the past few years, his chest and abs were incredible, very defined, very toned, and oh so fit. The first time she'd seen him shirtless after quidditch practice, it had taken sheer force of will not to drool all over herself. The only thing that had saved him from being ravished by the petite redhead was the fact that the locker room was full. If it had been just the two of them, well...

She shook her head, trying to clear that image away.

_Bad Ginny, down girl._

She reached the portrait hole, and after giving the password, _victory_, passed silently through. She was hoping to have a chance to catch a glimpse of him, before heading to her dorm. She was surprised to see Hermione seated across from Harry, giving the youmger girl a quick wink as she saw her, and motioning to stay where she was for a moment. Ginny rolled her eyes, wondering what her friend was up to this time.

"So Harry, what was that you were saying earlier, about all the damage Cupid does?"

A familiar head of ebon hair looked up in response. "You really need more examples?" At her nod, he nodded and continued. "Alright, then. How about me and Cho? Talk about a wrong match if there ever was. What was it Gin called her? Oh yeah, the Human Hosepipe. Talk about an apt description. I really don't know what I saw in her. I mean yeah, she was pretty and all, but she was a wreck, really. She's nothing like..." He trailed off, clearly not about to continue.

Hermione smirked, as she asked the next question. "Any other mismatches?" She gave him a warning glare. "Don't you dare start on me and Ron. Teasing is one thing, but..."

"Nah, Mione. I know you two belong together. I've known it since second year, really. Even Ron finally twigged to it in fourth. It was just getting him to admit it, _that_ was the challenge. If I had to choose between that and kicking snake-face's arse, it'd be a dead heat as to which was more stressful."

He seemed to mull over his next words for a few moments, before he spoke again.

"The real proof that Cupid's a dodgy little tosser is Ginny and Colin. I mean really, _Colin_? She could do so much better than him, he's such a little poofter. Really, he's a nice enough guy, but I feel the need of a long hot shower, anytime I'm around him for any length of time, like I've been violated or something." He gave a shudder at the thought.

"Are you sure your problem with that pairing isn't more about a certain sister of your best friend?"

Ginny had been amused by the conversation up until this point, but now she was transfixed. She had an almost morbid curiosity about what the answer to this would be. She'd long tried to deny what she felt for the boy who had captured her heart so long ago.

After he'd saved her life in the Chamber, she'd worked very hard at ridding herself of that little girl crush, only to be surprised to find that it had been replaced by a much truer, deeper, love. When she allowed herself to think about it, she could get scared by the very depth of the feelings she had for him. At this point, she'd long ago given up any hope that he'd ever return her feelings.

The possibilities of what he might say next were about to tear her apart. More than anything, she wanted him to feel the same way she did, but was afraid he'd just laugh it off, dismissing the idea.

Finally, the emerald-eyed wizard responded.

"You're right, Mione, as usual, but what the hell am I supposed to do? I lost my chance there, long ago."

"So, you _do_ have feelings for Ginny, besides friendship?"

He snorted. "Are you mad, Hermione? Of course I do! I mean, Merlin, look at her. She's incredible. She's gorgeous. She has that beautiful hair, every shade of red you can imagine, and new ones appearing every time the light shifts. Those brown eyes of hers, I'd gladly get lost in them forever. She's got great legs, and a fantastically cute little bum.

"She's got the Twins' sense of fun and humor, and cares about people the way her mum does, maybe more. Hell, I'll bet she's the only one who could've seen anything good in Draco Malfoy. If it weren't for her, I doubt that he'd have turned to the light. That final battle would've been a damn sight harder without him on the inside, I'll wager.

"I love the way she laughs, the way she walks, the way she doesn't take any shite off anybody. When you talk to her, you have her complete attention. She focuses so intently on what you're saying, and knows what you've _not_ said.

"If it weren't for Ginny, I don't know that I'd have made it through the summer after our fifth year. I've never told anyone this, but I was seriously giving thought to ending it, that summer. If not for her...

"Mione, I love everything about her, but what bloody difference does it make? I was a blind, daft prat for entirely too long, and now look. She's over me, and I'll not get that chance again."

"Oh, I don't know about that, you daft prat."

He stiffened, hearing a voice from directly behind him, one he knew better than his own. As he turned to face her, he could feel his brain melting, looking for a convenient opening to run through. He was a bit surprised that he couldn't feel it leaking from his ears, but reckoned it wouldn't be long now.

"I would've added blind as well, but it looks like that doesn't apply anymore."

As Ginny walked around to the front of the chair Harry was sitting in, she could see the grin on Hermione's face, as she fairly bounced with glee. In a moment, she was standing in front of him, her arms folded below her breasts.

"Now, what's this I hear about my having gotten over you? Where in the name of Godric's Golden Gonads, did you hear such rubbish?"

Harry was unable to speak by this time, sure his brain had escaped through his ears, leaking out without his notice. He was convinced when he opened his mouth to attempt speech. The only thing he could manage to say was, "Erm...uh...wha?" That certainly sounded intelligent.

"Very articulate, dear Harry, but it doesn't answer the question, I'm afraid."

She leaned over him, her hands on the armrests of the chair, her face only inches from his.

"Who. Said. I. Was. Over. You."

Harry tried to speak again, but the view down the front of her jumper completely cut the connection between his brain and, well, everything else. Deciding to try a different tack, he closed his eyes for a moment. After gathering himself, he replied.

"Erm, well, Hermione said that you, well, gave up on me."

"Alright. That I did, as I never thought you'd think of me as anything but Ron's little sister. That does not mean, however, that I ever got over you." In a softer voice, she said, "That doesn't mean I don't love you, you idiot."

She turned just enough to drop down into his lap.

"I think we need to have a talk about this." She turned her head to look pointedly at the Head Girl sitting across from them. "Mione, aren't you supposed to meet Ron out by the pitch, to go into Hogsmeade?"

The older girl, still grinning, nodded as she gathered her things. "Yes, actually, though this _has_ been a lot more entertaining. As a matter of fact, I think your brother now owes me a few galleons. I know he doesn't have that much on him at the moment, so I'll have to find some _other_ way to collect." She gave a wicked little grin before heading out.

"I think that girl has spent entirely too much time around my brothers. Now, where were we?"

Ginny turned her full attention back to Harry. Her lips locked onto the target she'd aimed at for so long, and Harry had the last coherent thought he would have for quite a while.

_"Maybe the little bastard isn't as dodgy as I thought."_


End file.
